So, I don't know if it is possible to love your kids.. and be thankful for them.. and just not like them very much... I am having a major struggle with my kids right now. I feel like I am failing with them. The discipline thing seems to be down the tubes. They do what they want when they want with no thought for anyone other than themselves. I know that is just the human condition. We are all selfish. We try to say we aren't... but, really.. all anger is based in selfishness.. and the rules we set are based on what is easiest and best for us.. When we don't follow through on discipline, it is because that isn't what we wanted to do right then...Even the fact that I am upset.. is selfishness, because I want them to do what I want, when I want, how I want, without complaint or hesitation and without being told. Not that I expect them to be mind readers or anything... I have told them what I expect.. over and over and over and over.. year after year after year after year... with every kind of discipline you can imagine. I have it posted.. on the refrigerator, what I want them to do and exactly what time during the day... Nothing is left for interpretation.. And it still isn't done. I feel like a failure as a mom, as a help-meet for my hubby, as a person. As a last ditch effort to let them know that I am serious, I took their computers from them.. well, sorta. They are all downstairs now. They can still use them.. and they still all have their own.. but they aren't in their rooms and just convenient for them. They have lost that privilege. I think it is time for my kids to learn just how spoiled they are and that the things in their lives are a treat.. not something I have to give them.
Please pray for me. Well, for all of us. I have to be strictly consistent with this. If I back down at all, I have lost and might as well just stay in my room and let them do what they want, because that is what will be going on anyway. Pray for God to give me wisdom and strength. Pray for my kids. They need to get it. They need to understand why we have rules, and why they have to follow them. They need to learn that a real relationship with Christ means dying to self... I need to learn that one too. Pray for hubby. He has to work to support us.. and then he has to come home and hear it from all sides. He is such an incredible person. He is a wonderful father, a super hubby. He works really hard to take care of us and I am really bad at thanking him and letting him know how much I appreciate it. I do though. And I am really proud of him!!!! And I praise God for all the knowledge and skill that he has blessed my husband with so he can do the things he does.
Sorry for my rant... Thanks for your prayer!
